The UVM Ski & Snowboard Club (UVMSSC) is a non-competitive, non-profit, student run organization dedicated to bringing together UVM's winter sports community and making skiing and snowboarding more accessible to UVM students. We work to encourage the already popular winter sports culture at UVM by providing discount season passes, free shuttles to the mountains, on/off-campus skiing and snowboarding film premieres and other events, group trips around the world, cheap trips around the Northeast, discounts to local businesses, proforms direct from manufacturers, and include some pretty sweet t-shirts with membership.
UVMSSC is the largest collegiate ski and snowboard club in the U.S. Our mission is to provide the UVM skiers and snowboarders with the opportunity to foster and develop relationships with the greater ski and snowboard community of Northern VT. This includes individual club members, ski resorts, sport shops, and national sponsors. It is our purpose to provide a framework by which all of these establishments can meld and become incorporated into an epic community of winter sport enthusiasts.
Alex Hoefer
El Presidente
The fact that Alex has ugly wugly elbows was no deterrent to assume the role of managing this whole circus. His fear of beds and couches could never throw shade on the fact that he can toss back enormous volumes of water (hydration is life). Alex’s bizarre, yet structured beliefs, of the giant sandworms deemed Shai-Hulud, have sent him down deep into a rabbit hole of self-discovery that can only benefit the Club’s need for a hot tub in the clubhouse. Alex is forever on the run from a militia of popcorn kernels who are constantly attempting to infiltrate his gray matter. Never fear! He has equipped his bunker with a bongo and a ukulele, providing endless hours of fun and entertainment for all.
Maya Frost
TReasurer
Mayayayayaya yeah Maya was a crew member on the set of Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom specifically for that scene with the heart and chanting and stuff. She was a chanter. This was where she got her start as a child actor, Italian scouts on the set of Indiana Jones brought her in for her majestic vocals and quickly trained her to sing opera with the best of them. Thankfully she makes time to handle the clubs finances with a finer eye for money than Mr. Krabs. If you ever need money just ask Maya because she can pull it out of thin air like that bearded guy with wine and stuff. She also rips mad ting in the backcountry.
Sammy Yohe
Graphic Design
Walking down church street you may be lured into a concert venue like a sailor drawn into rocks by a siren. Thats no siren, its Sammy "Fortnite” Yohe. She has mastered every Adobe shortcut known to mankind, even being rumored to have secret access to unreleased ones. Sammy has molded Illustrator into her own personal weapon, churning out highly-effective propaganda against her closest enemies. Once a member of a Peruvian intelligence agency, Sammy still has not one but two fake molars filled with cyanide. Capable of cable-rowing 327 pounds, Sammy can and will tear the shirt off of your back if she deems the design unsatisfactory.
Drew Smits
social media / Communications
World renowned for his ballet skills, Drew has calves that could slice clean through a watermelon while removing all the seeds at the same time. As our communications officer, he goes through three carbon-reinforced keyboards a day due to his vigorous typing at 10 words per minute (he uses only his pinkies). Afraid of large stainless steel cookware, Andrew wont step foot into a restaurant without his emotional support fingerless gloves. Drew can be used as a human jumprope like those little African kids singing Shakira. If you disagree with him, Drew will rapidly devolve into a homunculus and wont be brought back to normal until you answer five of his riddles.
Theo Mairo
Social MEdia / communications
Full name Theodore Dubbya Roosterbelt, this fella has one of those squirrel suits. Yeah. He base jumps off of skyscrapers and flies through cities like a bat out of heck. Theo can scrawl scripts with a pen and shake his hips better than most men. I cant really read what he writes but it looks hesh and rad so that makes it all ok. A fashionista and businessman at night and a core member of our media team by day, Theo really lives a double life. How does he have the time? A magical stopwatch that freezes time. Thats how.
Juli Lorenzano
Ski Sponsorship Manager
The chilling Vermont breeze you feel as you walk to class or stand atop a great peak is actually Juli’s aura. She might seem innocent to our sponsorship partners, but outside of her job as an officer Juli has mastered nearly every form of self-defense. Following extensive training in the coastal mountain range of Syria (see photo), she can now crush a water balloon with just her foot as long as she’s wearing really big boots, impressive I know. A passionate collector of silly pinwheel hats and lollipops, Juli is all business and no fun.
Helena Canning
Snowboard Sponsorship Manager
Following her short career as a Navy Seal, Helena decided to try a real challenge for once by becoming an SSC officer. She woos our snowboard sponsors with her ability to replicate any birdcall with a single Cheez-it and a thimble. Helena has traveled back in time on numerous occasions to ensure the well-being of wealthy children’s parents so that Batman never exists in real life (lame). When she isn’t tending to her extensive lichen collection, Helena is bouncing a tennis ball against a brick wall by herself.
Shea Norris
Clubhaus manager
When Shea isn’t judging exotic car shows (that’s actually true not made up) she is practicing her sign-spinning (ok everything else is made up now). Fun fact sign spinning is highly dangerous and results in more injuries per capita than slip-n-slides. If Shea has a tough week and loses more than 5 teeth, she takes a break to risk her life in the park. Call her Shea Butter the way she hits those rails and jumps with mad smoothness and tenacity. Shea NEVER wears a helmet. That image is generated by AI, she hates being safe (as shown in her sign spinning).
Riley Qian
Assistant pass sales
The worlds largest live bug collection belongs to Riley. He actually hates all bugs but having so many captive makes him feel more in control. Riley is a radio host that interviews retired college fencing athletes, surprisingly interesting. Riley also directs a tv show on extreme paint drying. I promise man it gets realllly good on episode 258. Little known truth Riley once had no hair at all when he was very young. Over time he actually grew hair and also learned to walk and talk and got older and taller also.
Lizzy Faiola
Trips and Transportation
When asked what her most impressive feat was, Lizzy responded “I can extend my toes allowing me to swim faster.” This was a massive understatement of her own capabilities. Just last year she was pretend-mermaid champion for the 7th year in a row after breaking her own record in the breath holding contest. She passed out in the 4-foot deep competition regulation pool. This goes to show how hard Lizzy is willing to push herself to succeed, and her job as an officer is no exception. She personally simulates every club trip on a miniature scale 3 hours prior to its launch with her army of Australian walking sticks. “I just love how they look like sticks its so tubular” Lizzy says as she drinks gasoline from a sippy cup.
Gabe Davis
events coordinator
SSC’s most dubious officer has easily lived up to his XBox live username “ThugThief42”. A theft spree through the pet stores of southern Nevada landed Gabe 2 hours in rehab to fix his obsession with training an army of parrots to sing like Axl Rose. A new man, Gabe settled down after his life of crime to be an officer for UVM’s most notorious club. While he will never match the thrill of running down the beach in his robe with 13 live parrots in a santa-sized sack, Gabe is more than fit to be our very own assistant events coordinator. Aside from feeding Alex Hoefer grapes and periodically fanning him with a massive palm frond, Gabe works on his cooking skills. He has succeeded in putting a rock in the oven until it becomes warm. Unlike Alex, Gabe’s elbows are actually very nice, he keeps them well moisturized and has even modeled them for prestigious modeling agencies on multiple occasions.
Lucy Rosenbluth
Pass Sales
Lucy oh lucy, how do you swoon our mountains oh so well. A bond tighter than a babys cheeks created out of proud negotiation, promptly timed emails, and love <3. Lucy spends her time looking for the ants, as they have taken her homeland and are rampaging constantly to the song "Funky Town" by Lipps inc.; because of this, be mindful as she walks through campus, her sword she carries at her side 24/7 could slice you in half (only if you are an ant of course).
Will Mezitt
assistant EVENTS COORDINATOR
Fun fact that fish actually caught Will. Romantically. One wink from those watery eyes and Mr. Mezitt found true love. They now live together at the base of a dam with a happy school of fish with human limbs. Will is currently training under the great sage Gabe who will pass on the Shao-Lin style of event planning to him. After Will reaches his full potential he will transcend, grow fish limbs, and return to the cycle of rebirth with his fish family. Don’t get too comfortable Will, the event planning knowledge must be passed on to the younger ones. Nobody can gather a crowd quite like the Shao-Lin. This is all speculation of course I’m not really sure about all the fish stuff but everything else is definitely true.